A Baby Seal Just Died

I recently wrote a post about my efforts to avoid competitive mothering, and my wise, hilarious, super-mom (not perfect, just awesome) friend Bernie sent me a link to a video that illustrates how some moms seem to thrive on making other mothers feel badly. Shame, shame.  But seriously, this video is hilarious. My favorite part:  ‘A baby seal just died.’

10 thoughts on “A Baby Seal Just Died

  1. The thing that drives me crazy about the “competitive mothering thing” is how people will try to scare you. For example, “oooh, if you let the baby sleep in your bed, you’ll never get them out until they’re 20”, “oooh, rocking the baby to sleep, bad habit to get into.” I’m a terrible parent for rocking cuddling my baby to sleep? Each time I would fret and believe that these people actually knew what they were talking about. Now with some experience I know with the next baby I’ll do some things differently, but mostly I’ll just do what feels right to me, what works for my family and when people make their judgemental little comments I’ll know that I know my baby and myself better than anyone else and I’ll do less worrying and silently give more “f-offs”. Sounds hostile I know, but it’s a battle out there:)

  2. Oh man, I cringed watching this video. And then laughed. “We all sleep together, how else would I breastfeed all of them?” hahahaha!

  3. There is so much pressure and judging. The worst being that pressure and guilt I put on myself. Invisioning working full time soon after the baby is born makes me scared I won’t have the appropriate amount of time to research and be involved and be around. Funny video, feels too real to me right now though, I think I’m becoming the blonde mom…

  4. Resist becoming Blonde Mom, Jess! A lot of the pressure put on ourselves (and that by others) is based on totally fabricated information and expectations that is not based in reality. Reality: there are about 1,200,345,394,398,382 variations on ways to raise a child that will work out just fine!

    My main finding so far: Judging ourselves leads us to judge others out of fear and sadness. Let’s avoid that.

  5. I can identify with your fear Jess of maybe becoming the blonde mom. Sometimes though, I start feeling guilty and bad about having a strong opinion on some issues. It’s like not only do you have to do everything perfectly, but you also can’t judge what other moms are doing ever or you’re a bad person as well. Which is just more pressure. If you’re a passionate person it’s hard not to feel passionate on the issue that matters to you more than anything else in the world – raising your child. Sometimes too, if you’re a mom whose an information and research junkie like me, you are kind of aghast when you hear some of the things people do. For example a friend who told me their sister and her husband slept in the sun-room to block out the crying and get a good night’s sleep while letting their one month old cry all night long to “sleep train” her. I kept my mouth shut, but I admit it, I was judging! I guess the point is just to be kind to one another and understand that different isn’t wrong–except for sometimes in my mind. Oh no, I might really be the blond mom:)

  6. I see your point Les. I don’t think the main idea though, is to be perfect in your ambivalence to what others do. I think, however, my effort is to realize that just because I do research, think things through, trust my feelings, does not mean that I know what’s right. Pick an issue, and we can all find research on both sides. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. Despite research and reading to the point of exhaustion, there is no one way to do anything. Moreover, ‘research’ is always changing, always happening, new ideas become en vogue. And what you researched the first time might not work the next time, or a month later, or with the next baby. Nothing, especially with all the variables of pregnacy/babies/etc, is black and white.

    The point isn’t that blonde mom co-slept or cloth diapered or whatever, the point is that she felt superior and pitied the other mom. We all have those moments of judging, but trying to get past is my best strategy at avoiding judgment myself.

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