If I Had To Wipeout

A woman wiped out on her bike as we were approaching in the car. It was a decent wipeout, the kind where you are splayed all over the pavement with your groceries strewn everywhere and your pride rolled into the street somewhere and a car rolled over it so you die of embarrassment.

We are totally the kind of people who stop to help, even if we are living in Japan and asking the woman if she was ok would only have resulted in her thinking she was experiencing side effects of brain trauma, but we didn’t stop. Because the woman, poor thing laying on the ground, took her spill in front of a fire station. There were hunky firemen ALL over here like ants at a picnic. I can’t be sure that they were all hunky, but they were all wearing suspenders so that’s a good start.

And this got me to thinking, if I HAD to wipe out on my bike, if it couldn’t be helped and my dignity was going to be destroyed regardless, I’d prefer to do it in front of a fire station full of hunky suspendered firemen.

And this got me to thinking, if I HAD to wipe out on my bike, if it couldn’t be helped and my groceries were going to be smashed to bits anyway, where else would I prefer that to happen? My short list includes:

On a bike path in front of the Australian men’s swim team doing their dry land training. Accents AND sculpted trapezium? I’ll skin my knee for that.

Outside the Killers tour bus. Brandon Flowers can kiss it and make it better.

Just as James Franco is leaving a coffee shop, and when he bends over to help me up it just so happens he is carrying TWO soy mochas with a shot of hazelnut! Thank you so much James Franco!

If you HAD to wipeout, where would you prefer to do it?

7 thoughts on “If I Had To Wipeout

  1. My dad got wiped out by a car recently in front of the hospital he was getting treatment from! If you’re going to be struck by a car and get a brain injury, I reckon he chose the right spot.

    1. Thankfully for this woman she wasn’t in such bad shape as your dad, Veg! But you’re right, your dear old Dad sure did pick the best spot to fall victim to something so awful!

  2. I absolutely agree!! I’m Australian so the accents aren’t quite as exotic, but they certainly are good looking and I’d be happy to take a tumble if the Aussie swim team were coming to my aid.

    1. OH Alisha, lucky you! If you still live in Australia, you have much better odds than I do of at least being able to PRETEND to fall in front of the swim team!

  3. In front of a therapy client. Then, to take the spotlight off my embarassment, I’d immediately turn it into some sort of therapy activity or bizarre metaphor about overcoming adversity, gaining humility, yadda, yadda, yadda. By the end, they would have forgotten that I made a fool out of myself 😉

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