In recent months you’ve probably seen
Blossom Mayim Bialik on chat shows, featured on mothering/parenting websites and as the whipping girl topic of many parenting bloggers. She wrote a book, as a mother and a neuroscientist, about her parenting methods. Add it to the pile of parenting books.
Mayim practices ‘attachment parenting’, which advocates for breastfeeding, baby-wearing and co-sleeping along with many other less headline grabby parenting theories and techniques. And since she isn’t apologetic about any of her methods or the way she raises her family, people get all bent out of shape.
Many of the headlines describing Mayim’s book use some combination of the words ‘controversial parenting techniques.’ If you read some blogs that chastise her methods, you’ll find even more hateful words in the comments that describe her as lazy, co-dependent, needy, overbearing and worse. People are spending their time and energy getting upset about how she is raising her healthy children.
First of all. Who f&^#ing cares. Now that I am a parent, I really have to marvel at people who are also parents and still find the time to get involved in mud-slinging on the internet. Seriously, take a nap, you might feel less cranky.
Secondly, ‘child abuse’ is a real thing, but nursing a toddler or sleeping in a family bed is not even in the realm of the universe of the same kind of thing as child abuse despite what above-mentioned internet commenters might want you to think. We all have our own philosophy and some people feel more strongly about certain issues than others, but honestly despite the bravado of some pushy bastards who seem so self-assured, I’m under the impression that about 99.9% of parents are absolutely winging it. Doing their best, but truly making it up as they go. Because each day, each scenario, each child is different. Who can plan for that?
Third: certainly there are issues with attachment parenting that make it not-for-everyone. Not everyone has the resources to allow for a life without nannies, not everyone can sleep in a family bed and not everyone wants to breastfeed. I’m fine with all that. Whatever you want to do, seriously. But it is highly likely that there are parents out there, doing their thang, who don’t feel like their style is represented in the current mass of cry-it-out, kids-are-independent, your-marriage-uber-alles mommy and daddy books and blogs. So if they read Mayim’s book and feel connected and heard and validated. GOOD FOR THEM. If this book isn’t your thing, don’t read it. Don’t read it at all. Everyone wins.