The Superstitious Atheist: Just To Be Safe

During the hockey game last night there was a ScotiaBank commercial showing little kid hockey players in their locker room. And in their locker room sits the shrine to all things hockey, the Stanley Cup. Dave was grinning as the kids got excited, cute right? Then they started hugging it, rubbing it, patting it. And he SHOUTED, in an actual shouting voice even though, and gravity of this cannot be understated, our toddler was sleeping nearby:

DON’T TOUCH IT! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!? NOW YOU’VE DONE IT. Now. You. Have. Done. It.

Now you’ve done it kids. According to this widely known Canadian wive’s tale, touching the cup before you’ve won the cup insures that you will, subsequent to this violation, never actually win it. Dave is an atheist, a lover of logic, a believer in scientific method. The statistical reality is that whether they spend their young lives staying out of the same time zone as the cup or if they wash their hair in the bowl itself, they will probably never win the Stanley Cup. When you factor in talent, size, injuries, resources, timing and connections, all things that will help eventually lead a hockey player to the NHL, it’s fairly obvious that a fingerprint left on the silver and nickel alloy is not the deciding determinant. Just saying.

When the commercial ended Dave looked at me and saw me smiling.

him: What?

me: Nothing it’s just hilarious how serious you take that when you are so disdainful about other superstitions. It makes no sense, you know?

 him: I know. That’s true. I know….I know but…just to be safe…let’s not let our kids touch it.

me: Sure, honey. Just to be safe.

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